Oh, it's been a weary month.. it's been a weary year.
I keep knocking on God's door, trying to battleaxe my way through this walk of faith..
I need to remember it is a marathon. Not a sprint.
So I keep spinning and spinning like a whirling dervish.. trying to hear God's voice so desperately... clinging to what I know He's done in the past.. and I can see His movement in my life. Bigtime. I can see His movement.. I just can't hear Him. It's such a strange experience.
I'm so full of anxiety, I'm overwhelmed by the status of my health, my current status as single , work related stresssssss... So much so, that I can't sleep, I can barely eat, I can't seem to see the light from the bottom of this dark valley.. yet I know, because I accepted Jesus as my savior.. and regardless of how abandoned I am for Him in my heart.. that He makes promises to his people, and to orphans.. I am an orphan. Both parents gone, my only sibling is off traveling the world and married..
So, His movement in my life does have to do with how much He loves me, but I've been thinking lately, His care for me in my life has more to do with who He is, who He says He is.. and His promises to us.. and that He is a constant.. always moving, always providing, always longsuffering with us as we try to figure this out. I feel like I'm in a bubble, and that God's hand is carrying me, His daughter in that little bubble. Sometimes it gets bumped, sometimes there are cracks, sometimes it gets dry, sometimes it gets dark.. but I am surely carried by something Greater than I realize or could even humanly comprehend.
I pray that I come out of this valley more abandoned to the safe and big arms of Jesus Christ. I've been so cautious about this abandon for so long.
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Deut. 31:6 - Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them (or anyone, or anything), for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you or forsake you".
ReplyDeleteHebrews 13:5b, 6, " be content with what you have (health, money, job, friends), because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'
Proverbs 3:5,6 "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight".
Dania, you have to trust Him fully, even in these scary and difficult times. He knows what is best, and He hems us in sometimes tightly, and he always keeps us safe--even if we do not agree with His boundaries...its hard, no doubt. We suffer for Christ though..there is a purpose for it all.
Proverbs 2:7,8 "He holds victory in store for for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones."
And lastly, and with excitement, I leave you this verse:
Isaiah 43:18,19: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
I love you!
Val