Psalm 4:1

Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have relieved me in my distress:
Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer.

I've been trying to wrap my head around the psalms, trying to figure them out. Putting unnecessary pressure on myself to 'get it'. And honestly, for the most part... I just don't. But I'm pretty sure God's okay with that. I have been trying to tackle, charge, force, sprint my relationship with the Lord and His word. And the more noise I make, and the more stress I put on myself, the less I hear from Him.

I've been working myself up into a religious frenzy to the point where I am exhausted, tense, anxious..etc. None of this makes sense. This doesn't resemble the fruits of the spirit.. gentle, kind, willingness to yield etc.. How I think the more I work, the more I try that God is going to break through the paper barrier at my football game and score a touchdown.

I think He's a lot cooler and more mellow than this. I don't give His grace any room, mostly because I refuse to receive that grace because I'm just too darn messed up and gross to think that any of it should come my way.

This goes against the gospel of grace. I need to relearn this just about once a year. To relax. To let grace do it's supernatural job in me and wait for the Lord to lead in this relationship. Then there's trust. That's for another day.